Tuesday, January 07, 2003
YOWZAHS I gotta piss right now.
Whenever I drink Vitamin Water, it literally runs right through me.
Good story Joe. Very intriguing.
Sometimes I just don't know how to jump right into my entry for the day. So I start by saying something like: "Whoa! The slice of pizza I had was so greasy" or "ROCK! I have two arms and two legs". I don't know..either way...it's LAME!
Last night was quite an interesting evening. I got out of work at my usual 5 o'clock time and scooted on down to Paul's place. We had plans to get movies and groceries. When I showed up Kelly was at his apartment getting ready to go see "The Hours" with Paul's roommates, Jen and Lisa. Unfortunately, when Paul opened the door to reveal Jen and Lisa, I immediately cringed and wanted to leave. The problem with Jen and Lisa is that there is no problem. They are very pleasant people and have never ever come close to doing anything hurtful or mean to me. Yet, I can't stop saying horrible shit about them and on every level, I REFUSE to accept them.
To be honest, they aren't my FAVORITE type of personalities to hang out with, but I am mature enough to realize that people are different and variety is what makes the world go round. However, I am NOT mature enough to allow them into my inner circle. I am very picky about who is allowed "in". In many ways, I feel as though I have hand-selected the people that reside in my little group. Kelly, Mariah, Rita, Ari, Paul---as of right now, these are my special people. Of course I have other friends and of course I get along with most everyone, but I am VERY picky when it comes to hanging out with acquaintance-esque people all the time.
I'm a bitch who hates spending my free time with people I don't completely LOVE.
It makes sense.
Kelly, on the other hand, is a very accepting person and we all appreciate her for that. She has seemingly clicked with both Jen and Lisa and I am happy for her. Since Jen is a lesbian, Kelly has a new gay friend to go bar hopping with. Kelly could make peace with a piece of dook if she wanted to. She's that open-minded. Now, put me in the middle of all of this and you can see where the problems develop. I am in no way soft spoken or demure. I am very opinionated and I want what I want when I want it. For example, if everyone is sitting around trying to make a decision as to where to go drinking that evening, I will walk into the conversation and within minutes say: "Why are you arguing? We are obviously going to (insert the name of a super fun bar)". Sometimes it's a great thing, sometimes it's a big problem.
When I saw Jen and Lisa sitting on the couch last night, it took all I had not to vomit or scream on sight. Paul's apartment is quite small and there is no escaping any unwanted conversation. I told Paul to get his things, that we were going to Blockbuster and to the grocery store. He immediately obliged and at the time I'm not sure if he obliged so quickly to appease me or to get me the fuck out of the room. Probably a mixture of both. We said our goodbyes and took off towards Union Square.
Paul was in the mood to make cheeseburgers and french fries. There has never been a day in my life when I HAVEN'T wanted cheeseburgers and french fries, so I was very excited about this choice. Unfortunately, I suggested the turkey burger and later on that night, we both took one bite of our sandwiches and chucked them in the garbage. Turkey burgers have a tendency to taste like horse shit. At least the ones Paul made did. The french fries we got ended up burning so I sat with a gigantic bowl of cereal and that was my wonderful dinner.
ha.
We rented the movie "Trapped" with Charlize and Kevin and I never saw more than 20 minutes of it. You see, I pretended I was asleep so Jen and Lisa would go to bed and it worked! YAY! Will use that one again in the future.
But...there was one thing I have skipped over...
Paul and I were putting clean sheets on his bed, when I decided to be all sexy and shit and I pulled him down on top of me...
WARNING: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT TEXT --- IF YOU ARE OFFENDED (ie: totally LAME) then go to
the lamest site on the internet and be completely bored.
As we lay there kissing, I felt totally out of body. We were fully clothed and I could sense that he was feeling very awkward about kissing me. Our clothes were fully on and our breath was not the most pleasant. I told him to kiss me for a few minutes and that we could make dinner after that. He pulls in tight to me and I can feel his erection through his pants. I immediately stiffen and suddenly I want nothing of this kissing...
I want to hump.
What happened to me??
I start grinding against him and I can tell by his breathing pattern that he is about ready to go to town on me. I casually slip out of my pants and he starts pumping my erection up and down. While it felt tremendously good, I couldn't help but still feel completely awkward. I look up at him and his face is all serious. He is now in full "hook-up" mode. I try to make myself believe that after almost 3 years in a relationship, there is no reason why I should feel weird with him. I closed my eyes and tried to just go along with what I started. Paul took off his pants and boxers at that point and I started to panic. What was wrong with me? I started this whole thing and now I lay here and don't want to do it anymore. But how do I tell him that I want to stop?
Paul began to give me head, very slowly, and for the first time in our relationship, very gently. (he is not a good blow, usually) The head of my dick was so sensitive and I repeatedly had to push his head away. We maneuvered into a 69 position. His dick was raging at this point. Usually I give amazing head....very slow and wet and hot and yeah...I can finish Paul off in about 35 seconds. But last night, his dick made me gag and I didn't like the taste of it at all. Paul sat upright and knelt next to me, massaging my dick in both of his hands. I closed my eyes and went to fantasy land.
After about ten minutes of this hand-jerking, I finally had to push his hands off of me. I told him that I wanted him to kiss me until I came. He was comfortable with that and there he laid...next to me...while we each just jerked our own dicks until orgasm. Of course, when he came it had to be all over my chest. This is the way it almost always ends up, and last night, I hated it. I felt degraded and tired of having to be the one to either jump in the shower or eat up all the cum.
ok SIKE! Never would I eat cum off my chest. That is purely disgusting.
In any case...this is the love session we had last night. After 3 years, this is how the two of us made love. Maybe intercourse will actually change our relationship for the better. But what if it doesn't? What if I always have to run away to fantasy land? Is that normal? Do other people do the same thing and as often with their mates? Do we all envision the best bodies on the planet? Or am I the only one that can't keep my eyes open during sex?
Our anniversary is on Thursday and while I feel no pressure to de-virginize myself on that day, I know it has to happen and soon. This kid is about ready to bust inside. And so am I. I am tired of not knowing what sex is really like. I am tired of being in love with someone and not being able to share this adventure with him. There is so much I don't know about and I am ready to start exploring.
But is Paul my best friend? Or my boyfriend? I am still unsure.
After we finished "hooking up", Paul said that he felt MUCH better and that we should do it at least once a day. (Right now, we average about 3 times a week) (yeah...yikes. cuz I cum at least 9-10 times a week...just alot of times, alone) Why did Paul feel that our sex was so good, when I felt like I was touching a stranger. And a stranger that I wasn't attracted to no less.
Hmmmmm......
And why did those cheeseburgers taste so completely nasty?
In any case, I am off to do some planning for one Miss Rita's bday.
This was a different entry for me today, huh? If y'all like gay porn, I've got some great stories I could lay on you.
Just let me know...
Whenever I drink Vitamin Water, it literally runs right through me.
Good story Joe. Very intriguing.
Sometimes I just don't know how to jump right into my entry for the day. So I start by saying something like: "Whoa! The slice of pizza I had was so greasy" or "ROCK! I have two arms and two legs". I don't know..either way...it's LAME!
Last night was quite an interesting evening. I got out of work at my usual 5 o'clock time and scooted on down to Paul's place. We had plans to get movies and groceries. When I showed up Kelly was at his apartment getting ready to go see "The Hours" with Paul's roommates, Jen and Lisa. Unfortunately, when Paul opened the door to reveal Jen and Lisa, I immediately cringed and wanted to leave. The problem with Jen and Lisa is that there is no problem. They are very pleasant people and have never ever come close to doing anything hurtful or mean to me. Yet, I can't stop saying horrible shit about them and on every level, I REFUSE to accept them.
To be honest, they aren't my FAVORITE type of personalities to hang out with, but I am mature enough to realize that people are different and variety is what makes the world go round. However, I am NOT mature enough to allow them into my inner circle. I am very picky about who is allowed "in". In many ways, I feel as though I have hand-selected the people that reside in my little group. Kelly, Mariah, Rita, Ari, Paul---as of right now, these are my special people. Of course I have other friends and of course I get along with most everyone, but I am VERY picky when it comes to hanging out with acquaintance-esque people all the time.
I'm a bitch who hates spending my free time with people I don't completely LOVE.
It makes sense.
Kelly, on the other hand, is a very accepting person and we all appreciate her for that. She has seemingly clicked with both Jen and Lisa and I am happy for her. Since Jen is a lesbian, Kelly has a new gay friend to go bar hopping with. Kelly could make peace with a piece of dook if she wanted to. She's that open-minded. Now, put me in the middle of all of this and you can see where the problems develop. I am in no way soft spoken or demure. I am very opinionated and I want what I want when I want it. For example, if everyone is sitting around trying to make a decision as to where to go drinking that evening, I will walk into the conversation and within minutes say: "Why are you arguing? We are obviously going to (insert the name of a super fun bar)". Sometimes it's a great thing, sometimes it's a big problem.
When I saw Jen and Lisa sitting on the couch last night, it took all I had not to vomit or scream on sight. Paul's apartment is quite small and there is no escaping any unwanted conversation. I told Paul to get his things, that we were going to Blockbuster and to the grocery store. He immediately obliged and at the time I'm not sure if he obliged so quickly to appease me or to get me the fuck out of the room. Probably a mixture of both. We said our goodbyes and took off towards Union Square.
Paul was in the mood to make cheeseburgers and french fries. There has never been a day in my life when I HAVEN'T wanted cheeseburgers and french fries, so I was very excited about this choice. Unfortunately, I suggested the turkey burger and later on that night, we both took one bite of our sandwiches and chucked them in the garbage. Turkey burgers have a tendency to taste like horse shit. At least the ones Paul made did. The french fries we got ended up burning so I sat with a gigantic bowl of cereal and that was my wonderful dinner.
ha.
We rented the movie "Trapped" with Charlize and Kevin and I never saw more than 20 minutes of it. You see, I pretended I was asleep so Jen and Lisa would go to bed and it worked! YAY! Will use that one again in the future.
But...there was one thing I have skipped over...
Paul and I were putting clean sheets on his bed, when I decided to be all sexy and shit and I pulled him down on top of me...
WARNING: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT TEXT --- IF YOU ARE OFFENDED (ie: totally LAME) then go to
the lamest site on the internet and be completely bored.
As we lay there kissing, I felt totally out of body. We were fully clothed and I could sense that he was feeling very awkward about kissing me. Our clothes were fully on and our breath was not the most pleasant. I told him to kiss me for a few minutes and that we could make dinner after that. He pulls in tight to me and I can feel his erection through his pants. I immediately stiffen and suddenly I want nothing of this kissing...
I want to hump.
What happened to me??
I start grinding against him and I can tell by his breathing pattern that he is about ready to go to town on me. I casually slip out of my pants and he starts pumping my erection up and down. While it felt tremendously good, I couldn't help but still feel completely awkward. I look up at him and his face is all serious. He is now in full "hook-up" mode. I try to make myself believe that after almost 3 years in a relationship, there is no reason why I should feel weird with him. I closed my eyes and tried to just go along with what I started. Paul took off his pants and boxers at that point and I started to panic. What was wrong with me? I started this whole thing and now I lay here and don't want to do it anymore. But how do I tell him that I want to stop?
Paul began to give me head, very slowly, and for the first time in our relationship, very gently. (he is not a good blow, usually) The head of my dick was so sensitive and I repeatedly had to push his head away. We maneuvered into a 69 position. His dick was raging at this point. Usually I give amazing head....very slow and wet and hot and yeah...I can finish Paul off in about 35 seconds. But last night, his dick made me gag and I didn't like the taste of it at all. Paul sat upright and knelt next to me, massaging my dick in both of his hands. I closed my eyes and went to fantasy land.
After about ten minutes of this hand-jerking, I finally had to push his hands off of me. I told him that I wanted him to kiss me until I came. He was comfortable with that and there he laid...next to me...while we each just jerked our own dicks until orgasm. Of course, when he came it had to be all over my chest. This is the way it almost always ends up, and last night, I hated it. I felt degraded and tired of having to be the one to either jump in the shower or eat up all the cum.
ok SIKE! Never would I eat cum off my chest. That is purely disgusting.
In any case...this is the love session we had last night. After 3 years, this is how the two of us made love. Maybe intercourse will actually change our relationship for the better. But what if it doesn't? What if I always have to run away to fantasy land? Is that normal? Do other people do the same thing and as often with their mates? Do we all envision the best bodies on the planet? Or am I the only one that can't keep my eyes open during sex?
Our anniversary is on Thursday and while I feel no pressure to de-virginize myself on that day, I know it has to happen and soon. This kid is about ready to bust inside. And so am I. I am tired of not knowing what sex is really like. I am tired of being in love with someone and not being able to share this adventure with him. There is so much I don't know about and I am ready to start exploring.
But is Paul my best friend? Or my boyfriend? I am still unsure.
After we finished "hooking up", Paul said that he felt MUCH better and that we should do it at least once a day. (Right now, we average about 3 times a week) (yeah...yikes. cuz I cum at least 9-10 times a week...just alot of times, alone) Why did Paul feel that our sex was so good, when I felt like I was touching a stranger. And a stranger that I wasn't attracted to no less.
Hmmmmm......
And why did those cheeseburgers taste so completely nasty?
In any case, I am off to do some planning for one Miss Rita's bday.
This was a different entry for me today, huh? If y'all like gay porn, I've got some great stories I could lay on you.
Just let me know...
